If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
