Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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