so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
