Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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