i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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