just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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