Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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