hell yes lets make some ravioli
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
