i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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