I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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