WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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