Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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