I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
