He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
