We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize