i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
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His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
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You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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