That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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