I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
