Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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