btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
