felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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