There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
