When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize