I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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