And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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