Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
