Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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