Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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