ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize