Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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