I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
