I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
