So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
