That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
