overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
lets start a swedish sibling band together
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Randomize
