Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My ATM looks so different sober.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
