haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Farmville is her only friend.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
