the condom got lost in my hair
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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