Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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