Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Randomize
