i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
