he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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