What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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