we have officially lost it.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We talked him into tasing himself.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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