You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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