the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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