If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize