don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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