I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
