he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
