a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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