Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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