Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
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Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
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She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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