I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
