I'd wear matching sweaters with you
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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