Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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