apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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