dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
pop tarts are not kleenex
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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