Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
