Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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