so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
