there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize