$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
