So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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